Doggie Heaven Can Wait

    When I die, I want to go to doggie heaven with my dog. I mean, doggie heaven just seems like it would be better than people heaven. For one thing, there'd be dogs. For another, if there are other people there they'd be dog people (I wonder if doggie heaven is cat people hell?).
    Just think how nice it would be, dogs running in the park all day, perfect spots to bask in the sun or rest in the shade. For dogs who like water there would be ponds and lakes and streams. For dogs who don't like water, there would be no baths. Motion-activated treat dispensers would proliferate. Chew toys would grow on trees and squirrels would be dumb and slow.
    I suppose there would have to be some people around to throw all the sticks and balls and Frisbees. Me? I'd be there because my little dog would be there and I love my little dog. Rose is cute and sweet and funny and she loves me. It's hard to imagine eternity without her.
    On the other hand, she is a bit demanding and bossy. Still, we'd have a wonderful time in doggie heaven. She'd walk me on a leash and let me sleep on the foot of her bed. She'd probably tell me "don't beg--go lie down!" when she was eating and tell me "no barking!"
    That's okay, though. I'd shed on her couch and pee behind her favorite chair. Even heaven couldn't be heaven all the time.
--Stephen P.


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