Thursday, July 27, 2017

Vast Wasteland Report

It seems as though I rarely have any good news about the current state of television.

Sitcoms have been off my viewing list for decades now. I'm happy for people who love Big Bang Theory. I'm not interested, but that's just me. I don't care for anything with a laugh track. By the way, I'm sorry to predict that Young Sheldon will be cancelled mid-season. And I won't care.

Let me apologize for being harsh, but I'm bitter over the cancellation of Rosewood. It was a great crime drama with a great cast chemistry and I will miss it greatly.

Bones has finally ended. It was time. I've enjoyed the show, but I think it had run its course and keeping it on life support would have just been cruel. I like David Boreanaz, but I doubt that I will watch Seal Team--or any other military/Middle East war dramas. Some things are just too real and too dramatic for me. I don't need to punish myself by watching reenactments of a conflict that makes me very sad.

Survivor is still on, I don't know why. I've never watched more than fifteen minutes of the show and I don't understand why anyone would. Reality television has never caught my attention for very long. Pawn Stars, Gold Rush Alaska and American Pickers were entertaining for awhile. I might still watch Gold Rush, scripted though it is, but I got rid of cable.

All of the medical dramas kind of run together in my consciousness, so that I can no longer tell them apart: Code Black, Night Shift, Chicago Med, Saving Hope. I'm not saying they aren't good, they just aren't very distinctive. The strong female leads are probably the best part, but all four have them. I still miss the short-lived Monday Mornings. Now that was an original series. I've still never watched Gray's Anatomy, although I used to have a copy of the book.

Pure Genius, APB and Scorpion were all shows about very smart people and I never missed an episode of any of the three. Scorpion is the only one still on. Katharine McPhee is the highlight of a really good cast. The plots all follow a very structured formula and Scorpion is more fun than intense drama.

Bachelor and Bachelorette are two more shows I have no interest in. I haven't watched soap operas since I worked swing shift back in the Eighties. I don't watch dance shows, either. However, I do respect people who watch these shows, I mean, what else is there to watch.

Fargo and Better Call Saul are definitely worth watching, but I got rid of cable, so I don't. Okay, I do, on Hulu/Netflix, but I've already bitched about internet providers limiting me to a few episodes of each per month.

This past season of Criminal Minds was a mess. Firing Thomas Gibson was a mistake, but the show can still go on. The whole Spencer Reid goes to prison mini series within the series went on way too long. They can catch a serial killer in twenty-four hours, but they can't get Dr. Reid out of jail? While Criminal Minds has been going on for twelve seasons, I see no reason it can't keep going. Penelope Garcia is the thread that holds the fabric together. Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders was a dumb idea.

Doubt was a good show. Why they cancelled it after two episodes is a mystery to me. If they had aired the remaining episodes sooner, the ratings might have improved.

Another dumb idea was ABC's drama/comedy The Catch. Mireille Enos was brilliant in The Killing, and it's nice to know how beautiful she is when she let's her hair out of a pony tail. The Killing was so good, I used my precious data allowance to download and watch the entire series twice. The catch was awful. If you are going to do a ripoff of White Collar, at least make an effort. While the show had a good cast and some interesting fragments of character complications, it seemed like the actors knew it wasn't going anywhere and didn't make much effort. Enos deserved better.

Supernatural still won't die. There are things I like about the show: the cast, the characters, even the original premise, but I'm not really interested in vampires, demons, zombies, fallen angels or any of that, so no matter how good the show is, I'm not likely to watch. I hope it keeps making its fans happy for years to come.

Super heroes. I was a big fan of Marvel comics for decades and I was bummed that there weren't any good comic book series on TV. Now there are too many and it waters down any novelty there might have been. Enough! Stop it!

Mysteries of Laura was entertaining. I'm sorry it's gone.

Chicago Fire is mostly good. The cast is great and I will keep watching, but as usual, I'm interested in what the characters do for a living, not how their lives are going at home. Is that so wrong?

Chicago PD: don't care. Game shows: not interested, but I'll watch if I'm desperate. How to Get Away with Murder: don't care. Quantico: not even. Secrets and Lies: nope. Scandal: don't think so. All of those time travel shows: try again, Quantum Leap had a good gimmick.

Blue Bloods is the only thing in that Friday night time slot and I still don't watch it. If I'm going to watch Tom Selleck  brood, give me Jesse Stone.

Zoo is too convoluted for my taste. Primeval did it better.

That's enough. It hurts my head to think about it anymore.

Oh, wait. One more. I love Steve Harvey, but I'm starting to get an overdose. Take a break, Steve, six shows is enough.

Stephen P.

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