Dumb Things to Do
I cracked a rib last week and it hurts like heck. No, don't feel sorry for me. I don't deserve it. It's really stupid how I did it. I was sitting on the deck in one of the plastic wicker chairs and I dropped an appointment card I found in my coat pocket. It landed on the deck beside my chair. Did I get up and bend over to pick it up like a smart person? No, I didn't. I leaned over the arm of the chair and reached as far as I could with my left hand. With my fingers still six inches away from the card, reaching became painful. Did I get up and pick up the card like a normal person. Oh, no I didn't. I pushed past the point of pain and stretched until I heard something snap. Then I got up and picked up the card like anyone else would have.
Since I'm an old hand at breaking ribs, I didn't bother going to the hospital. Unless the rib is puncturing a lung, there isn't much they can do, except maybe give me painkillers, which don't work for me. I already have ibuprofen, which only helps a little bit, but works better than most prescription pills.
Having already injured myself, I went out and dug a 30 foot long trench for planting potatoes. That kind of activity should be reserved for people without broken bones, but I wasn't feeling too bad, so I went right to work. That evening I was in even more pain than when I originally hurt myself. For the better part of a week, I've been struggling with the discomfort of putting on my coat, taking off my coat, showering, drying off, getting into bed, getting out of bed, rolling over, staying still, picking things up, putting things down, etc.
Have I learned anything? Yes, but I won't remember it.
Stephen P.
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